You killed the dog....again

I got a 100 on the torque quiz!!!!!!!
















the enthusiasm just overwhelmed me :)

Wingardium Leviosa

      Oh my my how time flies. I honestly thought that it had been about a week since i last posted. So there for i was surprised that my lovely computer stated no in fact it had been over a month! How is that that you can get something mixed up like that.
      
      I am super excited for this week to go by! Thursday of this week i am going to be missing half of school to be taped for a WMHT Christmas special! Singing only the worst Christmas songs known to man, oh not to mention in our brand new run of the mill boring dull black dresses..........cheers. Really gets you in the Christmas spirit that does. Then friday after school i am rushing over to the cinemas to see.... thats right HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HOLLOWS: PART 1!!!!!!!!!! the excitement is over whelming. Would you like to know what i hate? i hate people who don't read the books and say they are huge fans, i hate people who have read the books once and say they know everything, i hate the people that only see the movies and think harry potter is awesome because of the movies.....i could go on for a very long time. Everybody move aside for the true lovers, the people who have read the books oh i don't know 12 times... and know probably anything you could ask then besides a few names because well i am horrible with names. These are the people that dress up for harry potter parties and know the real story not the one hollywood made up for, no reason that i can see. Anyways so after that i guess i'm going over to renee's house? I'm not so happy about that one but...nothing i can do. Saturday we leave for BOSTON to see Harry Potter on a giant Imax with my dear aunt :) coming home sunday i expect to cram some homework and practice practice practice!!! for my drivers test monday morning! one more day of school and i leave for NYC! for thanskgiving and as a gift to my grandparents for their 50th anniversary. They have been to new york and i even though i plan to spend a  insane amount of time finding the perfect piece of pizza or the most heavenly slice of cheesecake in new york(and surrounding areas) i am really looking forward to showing my grandparents the amazing place they are going to. I love sharing my ideas and thoughts and i cant wait to see their expressions, my gramma may act calm but i know that inside she is amazed with everything she is seeing or experiencing. I go straight into belling ringing and possibly a (real) shopping date with ryan that sunday. And ill be able to drive us there! ahh excitement for the next few weeks! From there on its a straight shot to Christmas! 41 days by the way :)

I love enya and sleep so i am going to take this opportunity to indulge in both, after the warm pumpkin bread pudding with hot caramel sauce and freshly whipped cream i happened across earlier i am content and sleep is in my eyes. Good Night Love

my head and my heart

Sorry it has been so long! i convinced my self it took too much time to blog my life away but i decided that was stupid and that i need a way to vent so with the family, however small it may be, i have here i shall vent. I could be one of those people that writes a half message on facebook that sounds emo, depressed and dramatic or i can explain my life in full here. to say i am stressed is an understatement. The main stress in my life is not ap physics or apush or volunteering or work or anything of that nature. No my stress is the kind of drama that you would find in a high school girl's life, the she does this he does that they say this kind of drama. Trust me i hate it but i cant help what im feeling. How do i explain that i am literally eaten inside every time i see a stupid homecoming picture or every time i do not get the text to make plans to go to the mall. stupid i know but this involves my best friend and i know it wouldn't bother me if it was elior or felicia or renee or someone good but to have him tell me...."im kinda friends with her" a her that shall remained unnamed even though the only person that reads this knows who this is. For my best friend to make plans without me, granted they didnt go through, with this girl drives me up a wall, the jealousy drives me mad and i find it hard to function. Only when speaking of her. I see why he could be friends with her i mean she doesnt speak over his head about topics he doesnt know because well theres not one intelligent thing that comes from her mouth and she exclaims things like women shouldnt be allowed to be surgeonss and like like like like sorry like she was like totally amazing and like like and she also things such as dont you love the feeling you get when everybdy knows your wearing expensive clothing? i mean on some level i believe my friend is a tad shallow but for him to start a friendship with her just drives me crazy... i know it shouldn't and i know i cant do anything but i cant deal with all of the built up anger it gives me... my stomach feels like an endless pit my head tells me dont think about it....

Doodle-y doo doodle-y doo

Im going to Boston! i might as well just live in Boston because i love it so much, water, academics, culture, architecture. My my what can i say it is my haven. I wish to go to a university there and my aunt lives there so im all about covered. I am going to go and spend a week or two there with my aunt! and she works everyday so i am going to eat at little corner cafes, people watch and discover fascinating thrift stores to sort through. Im so excited i positively can not wait... Well thats my story, whats yours?

Death

When death comes upon us we cower. This is the natural response. But when death is thrust upon us we burst. We melt into pity and emotion and we feel such pain that no person should have to endure. I don't feel that i will ever return. call me dramatic, call me dumb but i cannot see the good in anything right now. I feel that i may never recover.

Na nananana na na na nanana

I do promise to post a blog as soon as life stops spinning vividly around me!!! oh and i got a hundred on ma examen du francais! (french speaking regents) thats all i have for this moment in time! maybe soemthing new in this one? nope okay ta ta!

Hero (grandma or meatball)

I feel utterly depressed. I just added desperado to my playlist, not saying that i havent listened to it for forever but i just took the long not done and did it. Sophies blog which trust me i love you soph but it made me start to think, more like it was the key to open the door that i have been pushing against to keep closed for so long. every now and then i will take these things out but it is one of the hardest things to shove back away. This despair and feeling that i am not supposed to be here. I know im not the only one feeling this but i feel that i feel this almost on another level. I honestly believe that i am wasting myself sitting here in school and being all worked up in petty things like "she said this..." or i love him so much i feel i might die. what is the point, truly i dont understand. I know im not supposed to understand but what scares me so is that when i look into my future i dont see myself. you know you kinda get this feeling when something isnt going to happen, you make plans and you just know it wont pull through, this is the feeling i get. This is what scares me, because i have amazing intuition..... On the other hand the only thing making me believe that this world is real and worth it is love... i am beyond hopeless romantic. i scare myself when it comes to this because i get so developed and intertwined in things not to mention people. I know i sound positively suicidal but trust me im stable and perfectly okay. I think we need to talk about something more happy because that brought me down a tad.

something happy....something happy.... my AP exam is in less then 2 weeks and i know nothing. regents are after that and again (at least in trig) i know nothing. yes that was happy... Oh i know! im going to long island/ NYC this weekend to see one of my closest friends Katherine! its her birthday and the theme is Decades, different rooms are going to be decorated in different decades ex 20s 60s 80s and we have to come prepared for it :) Friday is the day i'm going down and its Katherines 3 month anniversary so im going to be a third wheel in a way... they are going to eat Italian ice on the water and i am going to watch and feel pain in my heart for them (tra la! that love thing again) and most likely be the photographer. i am positively giddy at the prospect of this, unfortunately the week can not go so slowly.