my head and my heart

Sorry it has been so long! i convinced my self it took too much time to blog my life away but i decided that was stupid and that i need a way to vent so with the family, however small it may be, i have here i shall vent. I could be one of those people that writes a half message on facebook that sounds emo, depressed and dramatic or i can explain my life in full here. to say i am stressed is an understatement. The main stress in my life is not ap physics or apush or volunteering or work or anything of that nature. No my stress is the kind of drama that you would find in a high school girl's life, the she does this he does that they say this kind of drama. Trust me i hate it but i cant help what im feeling. How do i explain that i am literally eaten inside every time i see a stupid homecoming picture or every time i do not get the text to make plans to go to the mall. stupid i know but this involves my best friend and i know it wouldn't bother me if it was elior or felicia or renee or someone good but to have him tell me...."im kinda friends with her" a her that shall remained unnamed even though the only person that reads this knows who this is. For my best friend to make plans without me, granted they didnt go through, with this girl drives me up a wall, the jealousy drives me mad and i find it hard to function. Only when speaking of her. I see why he could be friends with her i mean she doesnt speak over his head about topics he doesnt know because well theres not one intelligent thing that comes from her mouth and she exclaims things like women shouldnt be allowed to be surgeonss and like like like like sorry like she was like totally amazing and like like and she also things such as dont you love the feeling you get when everybdy knows your wearing expensive clothing? i mean on some level i believe my friend is a tad shallow but for him to start a friendship with her just drives me crazy... i know it shouldn't and i know i cant do anything but i cant deal with all of the built up anger it gives me... my stomach feels like an endless pit my head tells me dont think about it....